8 Steps To Manage Your Kids' Screen Time This Summer
Engaging the whole family in creating a memorable vacation
Eavesdropping might not imply good manners, but in today’s world when everyone sits in restaurants with their noses glued to their iPhones, iPads, and other screens, it’s a welcome distraction. Did you know that we tap, swipe, and click on our phones approximately 2,617 times per day? With that kind of screen activity, it is easy to overlook special moments happening around us. As summer vacation arrives, we have to ask ourselves should we allow our screens to babysit our children or should we find a way to create special memories for them, should we create a sacred space for them to experience serendipitous moments that will lead them to self-discoveries and self-expression?
If you are a parent, you might be holding your breath right now trying not to panic, summer vacation lasts after all for a long period of time; if you are an adult with a screen problem, guilt might be creating a tightness around your chest. Breathe, screens are everywhere around us, we have to become comfortable with our devices. Relax, help is on the way!
During a breakfast at Hotel Diplomat this spring in the Swedish capital of Stockholm, Mia Ljungberg Nevado, the founder of the Look Up Movement and a passionate spokeswoman for taking breaks from screens, was secretly listening to a conversation at the next door table where Filippa Forsberg, the parenting coach behind Kidsologi, was discussing with an acquaintance, her own purpose in life, kids. This is when eavesdropping can be purposeful and a lot of fun. Mia, ignoring the history of the Swedish rule not to intrude in each other’s space, started a conversation with Filippa. When you let curiosity and play mix with kindness and openness with no screens around, magic happens. Just a few weeks later, the Danish Swedish duo, hosted a Look Up Movement breakfast event on how to spend the summer holiday with your family off screen and Tarantula was invited.
The invitation that arrived in my inbox included a clause that iPhones are not welcome to the breakfast. For any emergencies, a number was left for us to send to our loved ones. Remembering that Marina Abramovic had a similar performance a few years ago when everyone had to leave their phones at the entrance of a church and just be with each other in silence, excitement followed to engage in a similar ritual. However my brain was plagued with logistics or was it withdrawal like symptoms: how was I supposed to take photos of the event?
The healthy breakfast spread was set in the dinning room of an old Custom House built in 1792 that was designed by the city architect J.E. Carlberg. Built at the very beginning of Stockholm’s island Djurgården, no boat could enter Stockholm’s harbour until being inspected at the house until 1881. Now a private residence, with cruise ships and boats still passing by the windows and seagulls squealing just outside, we were immediately transferred to a time before screens. As the group of ladies were getting to know each other while indulging in the tasty pastries and smoothies and much more, I overheard one of the attendees telling her table neighbour *If I had my phone, I would “google” it and would be able to tell you.” Yes, our phones were laying in the bottom of a vintage wooden box next to the entrance, and we were as vulnerable as our kids waiting for the next time we, the parents, allow them to pick up a screen.
Suggestions on how not loose your children to screens this summer by Filipa Forsberg of Kidsologi:
1.Prepare for success!
Picture your perfect summer. After discussing “hot topics” with your partner (screen time, bedtime routines, morning routines, playdates, travel) include your kids in the decision making. Best way to do that is to plan a -
2. Family Meeting
Meet once a week. The kids might not show enthusiasm in the beginning (or your spouses), but once they realize that they have a say in setting the rules, they will be willing to participate. Everyone has a say, every suggestion should be written down. If things don’t follow through, try again. It is never too late to change!
3. Create a List of Activities
Make sure to replace screen time with something exciting and fun! Things you could do; swimming, gardening, hiking, playing sports, painting, reading, listening to music or audio books, dancing in the rain, rock climbing …. (fill in the list).
4. Want to Sleep Longer in the Morning?
Did you notice that children tend to wakeup earlier during their vacations or weekends than on a school day? Yes, the parents want to sleep longer, and the little wise ones know that this is their opportunity to have screen time. Filippa suggests not to make it appealing for the kids to wake up early. Let them know if they do wake up, that there is no screen time; they have to make their beds, brush their teeth, make their own breakfast, tell them that they have to stay in their room until mommy and daddy wake up. Of course, no screens are allowed in the bedrooms!
5. Be alright with your kids being upset with you!
We are a generation of parents that wants to be constantly loved by our kids. It’s alright that they are angry if they don’t follow the rules and you take their screens, etc. It will pass.
6. Monitor their screen time
After 45 minutes of screen time, our brains become a bit of mush. Time your kids, when 45 minutes is up make them take a walk, stretch or do something else. They need a break. Also, they shouldn’t be in front of screen before sleep time. Blue light activates the brain.
7. Sit down with your kids
Play video games with your kids or watch the same YouTube videos or films with them. Understand what the are playing and watching.
8. Stay engaged and accept that screens are part of our lives
When you ask your child at the end of the day, how was their day, why not add “How was your day online? Who did you meet there? What are the new trends on Tik Tok?”
As Filippa finished her guest presentation for the Look Up Movement ’s breakfast event, in a gentle manner, she looked at us and smiled. “Spend time with your children without screens. Tickle! Laugh! We do not laugh enough with our kids!”
After a two hour breakfast, my phone was still in the same box waiting for me. I survived. If anything I was more engaged with the ladies around the table who had a lot to add and share, and I couldn’t hide my own vulnerability by hiding behind the screen. As I was leaving the event, the seagulls, and the history of a slow life in the Custom House behind, and as I entered the rainy and traffic jammed streets of Stockholm, an SMS arrived from my friend in Paris “Hey, what did you learn at that screen free workshop today? I myself have a problem to get off screen.”
I smiled and thought, just Look Up! What do you see? What do you hear? Feel? Where does that lead you? To a memory, a discovery, a new experience, a new friend? If we can manage it, so will our children because it’s simple, children mirror their parents.
Happy Summer everyone!
For more information about Mia Ljunberg Nevado and her inspirational Look Up Movement follow her on Instagram @LookUpMovement2020; for more of Filippa Forberg’s wisdom, visit her website https://www.kidsologi.com
Want to find out more about hacks on how to decrease screen time this summer and become role models for your children, on activities that you can do instead of constantly scrolling and checking your phones, stay tune for more July articles on Tarantula!